Informations Systems Consultant

Posts tagged ‘Men’

Not no go so!


When I first heard this Jamaican phrase around 2002. it was the title of a ragga tune released that year to advocate against some social ills in Jamaica. The chorus had this line also as the “kibwagizo” last line of every verse.

Today, I apply it in our days and there are many things that we have to proclaim “not no go so”. This means that is not the way things should be. Society today radiates some ills that require denunciation. This is reflected in the media content that spans radio, print media and screen. We have to take time and take stock with a view to avert the looming society disaster.

It all starts with family. We have to cultivate moral values and checks from this basic unit of society. I did like the expose on Kiss FM by Caro Mutuko and team the first week of November 2011. I also applaud their efforts to straighten the man on their man-up program. Whereas I strongly feel everyone without gender bias has a  role to play, I believe men have a greater role in this.

The man needs to style up. He needs to shun places of illicit affairs. He needs to be more available at home. He needs to take and pick his children from school. He needs to affirm his wife in her quest to stand out. He needs to admonish, praise, reproach and discipline his household with love. He needs to impress God’s way into his household by walking in it and speaking about it in every sitting. He needs to make home more accommodating and fun to be at. The man has to admit his wrongs and pursue forgiveness. The man has to pray and he has to be there to teach his household how.

We all know many hide in the notion that their role is to provide fullstop. But that principle has to change. The man has to be seen in public fora with his family. He has to grace occasions with his wife. He has to be spotted at exotic holiday joints with his wife and sometimes his whole family. He has to free up his evenings for those with busy schedules for his family. Like the woman he has to appreciate his roles. He has to know when he is his wife’s lover, husband, father to his children, the technocrat at work and the priest.

Yes the job or career can have its toll but come-on family is all you have left when you do retire. I have seen men loose it after they retire or are retrenched. They can longer patron restaurants. They all of a sudden discover the wife’s little business they despised can actually feed them and provide more. The same business they never wanted to culture, impart best practices they championed at their organizations or even open doors by just introducing the wife’s business to funding, prospective clients etc. After their fellow friends dump them since they are no longer in their “circle” they now want to try business when they had declared to all and sundry they were indispensable.

They all over sudden are apprehensive who dates their teenage daughters yet they had profusely abused others without a flinch of mercy. They realize their sons want to have it easy yet they had thrown notes at them instead of spending time talking sense into them. They again find fault in laws they helped create. They cannot see how to fit into the wife’s vitz yet they had spoiled their “tuchungwas” with Xtrails and even imported Prados for them. They now find solace in church when a while back they to had skip and dash to the office in readiness for some presentation.

Men, we need to style up. No man is greater than his family especially his wife. Love your family by spending time with them not spending cash on them. Provision is good actually it is the ideal but coupled with genuine love and care IT IS NOBLE. Only that way would we have molded the future we desire. Strong families build strong communities that become good societies.

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