How does it feel when a loved one makes you sad?
How do you feel when you are the one that makes your love sad?
I know how it hurts when a friend does the despicable. I have been the friend that sometimes inflicts the pain. No ice cream as sweet can dilute the sour taste. Not their ask of pardon deletes the hurt. So what then after being hurt? Workmates may cause us to suffer inside. They unknowingly or maliciously take up our projects. Make changes to our work without consulting or due cause. They often take credit of your good work. Sideline you when your proposal wins the job. Give you roles that seem to work in your disadvantage as they are full of contentious issues. A boss may be out to make you have no peace.
A spouse may do silly things and bring disgrace to you. They may never want to own up but continuously cover up. Friends many times will leave you hanging. They rejoice when you fall. They are okay with you only if they are on top. They may never pay for the coffee or even try to. They always have a favour to ask but never available when you have one. They may never forgive you for one mistake yet they expect you to note they are human when they err. This is the part that Jesus as a friend makes so much sense.
There are two critical decisions to make when in pain.
1. To dwell in denial and blame
2. To shake off; forgive and move on with or without them
When we do continue the blame game and continuously try to replay the scene, we only hurt the more. If we replay and try re-set the scene then we could hit depression. Our minds are in constant motion so if we replay a moment too long then we suffer the risk to hit a snag. Like a disc player trying to play a corrupt section of the disc, the only sound will be screeches. We know too well that can cause damage to the greater part of the disc and the laser head too.
So I choose to mend my errors to friends, family and my love. I will not seek the answers to why and how. I will not replay the hurt inflicted on me or I caused to them. I will sincerely apologise, restitute where possible and double my energy to grow into a new dispensation of that relationship.
Yes, things might never be the same but then in motion there is more gain than being stagnant in pain. I will forgive, I will pray good tidings to them and usher God through Christ to solve the mystery of hard relationships.