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DECLUTTER


We all have pursuits and quests we set for ourselves to achieve. More often than not what is important gets sucked up in clutter of priorities. It is always a joy when we spring back into focus and get things done as we had set out. That is why we have to continuously and jealously guard our focus by decluttering.

Declutter2

The Heart – I once shared some stories in my life with a friend and she exclaimed that it seemed straight out of the movies. Normal people have incredible and amazing stories around their lives. The interesting parts consist of people, issues and how those are tackled. a good place to start to declutter is the heart. The heart controls the emotions and responses we have towards people. When we are angry we will detach, display aggression and even act in peculiar ways that show bad attitude, arrogance and somewhat barbaric. Shah Rukh Khan playing as Rahul in the movie Chennai Express holds unto the mantra “Do not underestimate the power of a common man”. I dare say “Do not under estimate the power of the heart of a common man”. Chennai Express is a movie full of colour not only in costumes and rich pictures but a story weaved out of love. Rahul’s grandfather passes on and he promises the family that he will scatter his ashes in the Rameshwaram river. He is bound to his vow and family honour to deliver the ashes as promised then his “heart” is caught up in a love fit that has to accommodate Meena (played by Deepika Padukone) and the drama in her life. How does he manage his “heart” to pursue Meena as well as keep his focus on scattering his grandfather’s ashes in the Rameshwaram?

Chennai Express            Chennai Express2

All of us have a purpose in life. We set out priorities and undeterred we achieve but heart-strings most of the time get into the way. There is no prescribed way of decluttering the heart. We have to purpose to keep what is important the focus and keep at bay any distractions.

The mind – having a purpose is one thing, getting it done is another. Our mind is a powerful tool that feeds off our heart. It then fuels our actions – determining the intensity of our moves, speed and puts together the steps of the call. We need our mind in the greatest shape. My friend Javas Bigambo – a Thought Leader in Governance, Democracy & Devolution ; quips “…To deny a brain sufficient supply of acquired vital information is the most atrocious of ills…” We need to exercise our mind and brain with the most vigorous of activities to get the best out of it. Read books, synthesize concepts, question things then draw points from them – it is politely said that when we use 30% of our brain then we become successful anything higher than that gives us the name “genius”. Is it possible to organize our thoughts to question, conceptualize, structure a methodology, draw contingencies, have an evaluation matrix to measure advances made.

Javas Bigambo

The Spirit – we are blessed in Kenya that we have had crash courses in Law and our constitution that it is commonplace to find citizens arguing using clauses and derivative law terms. We have had good learning instances when our constitution was overhauled and the draft & ensuing document was widely debated, shared and snippets presented over and over that we can comfortably quote them. Senior lawyers, analysts and pundits alike have been quoted using Latin expressions enshrined in law studies that amicus curiae, modus operandi, obiter dictum, res judicata, inter vires among others can be used in common banter in homes and friendly conversation. In law definition and interpretations are presented in full length of the weight in the words used but more so in “the spirit” thereof. Within us we have our true intent in every move we make. Sometimes we compromise a pawn to slay a castle. The true intent here being not giving away something but to gain substantially in the loss(investment in our eyes). When we align our spirit to our heart and mind then we empower our spirit. The spirit encourages and rejuvenates us. It is gives the assurance that we are on the right course. Many use their faith and beliefs to feed their spirit. A strong spirit is a strong will which is difficult to bend.

I wish you the very best in you quest to declutter and achieve more in your pursuits.

Pictures courtesy of:

  • techystalk.com
  • Chennai Express adverts
  • citizentv.com

 

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HE IS NOT YOURS


Either of us can have him

He likes variety my dear

A well cooked meal

Though he stands your fast food tendencies

He is not stingy – just learn how to ask

Pamper him with encouragement

Admire him constantly, privately & publicly

He is genuine and true like Tuskys

Each side we have of him is unique

Let’s partner to make him even greater

Only then can he afford our combined asks

Carry your weight girl-surprise best gifts

Support his career & business

Don’t just consume what we created

I like how he coins names to call us

Yours is as different & meaning as mine

He is not ordinary – I wouldn’t have known

Had you not broken him in a surly wig

Waah!He buys you airtickets? I will take the bus

Come on, you found me here

Leave your pretense at the makeup table

I will not let you spoil the masterpiece

If you cannot enhance him-girl bounce

He will find another willing & bidding

After I nurse him with chocolate love

Silky nights and starry adventures

You are confused

To think your “nini” will keep him

A man feeds not only bread mami

Build him with words & treats

Be firm but not harsh

Whenever you deny him he will run to me

That is the beginning of your loss baby

He is not yours

Either of us can have him

It is true


Mama, Papa It is True

He seduced me with sweet lines

He took me to new places

Whatever he did seemed fun

He bought me things

Which melted my heart

Yes, I allowed him to touch me

I did not mind when he went too far

True, I accepted the gifts – drinks too

 

Mama, she lured me with beauty

Good looks and her smile mum

Radiated a strong attraction

Beyond the greetings, we hugged

She embraced engagingly

A hug was never enough

Yes, we did things Mama

 

You are the best Papa

He cannot come close

Though he tried – even dressed like you

He has a big car and a cosy apartment

I know dad but he was too sweet

I saw promise and grace in him

 

Imagine she cooks Mama

Not like you but other delicacies

I mean she is capable, very charming

Ofcourse nothing like you Mama

She got skills to, you see she…

Called me in a tone like no other

Her hands dripped of honey tingles

As she swayed I pulsated in admiration

 

She lit my heart with joy Mama

He used me in everyway then left

She went for another with a bigger car

I did not know he would fall for another

All alone I know now

You were right, I should be more careful

Yes Mama, Papa this is true

Vexatiously the stereotype


Taita Hills v2.jpg

There is art and there is science. There is religion and then there is the occult. We have the clever foolish and the stupid treacherous kind. The world as is has given us views of scenery, aesthetic beautiful nature and the absurd even weird (in our biased reasoning). Then there is the plain – true, pure, unadulterated and serene. The approach that we gain over the years given our history and culture, shapes our outlook. We are stitched by threads picked from old, new, rich, poor and annoyingly but creative tones. We are walking montages and present a collage in all we do. We even sometimes portray split characters as situations arise. “Wow! Isn’t she an adorable drummer?” we quip and all along we never knew this as we only saw her as the startup entrepreneur.

The potential within is amazing and unique. It is regrettable that we only live to scratch but the surface of our gifts and talents. The possibilities that lay untapped are annoyingly loud masterpieces that remain silent yet an applause await them. How sarcastic it is to expect the best in people but we are never willing to encourage their feeble start. Albert Einstein was a struggling student. Richard Branson is dyslexic. Jackie Chan struggles with English. Arnold Schwarzenegger was a struggling bodybuilder with small calves. The list of poor starters is as wide as all seas combined and as deep as space. But the progress and finish of many poor starters is astoundingly marvelous. Come out all ye that itch with gifts and talents. Push and assert yourselves!

Fall ye not in the trap of cheap mockery or the disillusionment of self pity. Many overcome barriers and limitations beyond our imaginations. Julius Yego – with no trainer and improvised equipment trained for the Olympics in a village and country that knew nothing about Javelin. Even now my guess is that there are none if any Javelin expert in Kenya!

It is easy to watch from a distance and critic. It is another thing to be blind to the now and focus on the possible future of success and great achievement. Pursue your dreams! Commit and work on it until aches cheer you on! Athletes push themselves harder than their targets. When I was training for the half marathon my coach shocked me to set the target at 40kms. I remember how difficult it was to even do the 21kms when we started. But after painfully pushing my limits I could muster 21kms in 2hrs. Looking back when we started and all I could do (since my waistline was 42inches then) was run for five minutes walk for three minutes. Today I can comfortably run for two hours with very few slow paces in between.

When the target is higher than the focus then all else becomes a breeze. I like what the sub-marine inventors Cornelis Jacobszoon Drebbel (Dutch) and John Philip Holland (Irish) believed and did the unorthodox. In 1620 the late Engineer Drebbel sketches his first sub marine – remember ships had not been storm proofed as today. It must have been ridiculous to onlookers. I can imagine the debacle and damning findings the sprocket of engineers had to dispute the viability of Drebbel’s venture. But he did make the first sub marine vessel. Advancing on this the late John Phillip Holland a ship builder in 1878 designed and fabricated a big submarine and it passed depths unimaginable before. His type 6 design after many years (1880-1900s) of struggle and lobbying was finally accepted by the US Navy and named “Uncle Sam’s Devil of the Deep”. Look beyond the common, push your dream farther than your energy and you will soar in the clouds of greatness with the eagles of achievement.

Type 1 Sub Design by Holland

Love is the greatest victim of stereotypes. We get in with full abandon then as the swimming gets rigorous we wade to the shallow end. Where our feet are on the pool floor and we can scamper to safety at the slightest alarm. Many want the benefits but are not willing to build the production units that generate them. Build each other up – support his/her ambitions, buy in their toil, like the coach train them into champions. It may mean a push here, a shove there but more encouraging and cajoling gets the job done. I like a female athlete from Kenya whose husband is the coach – I can only imagine the orgasm levels when “they” win as they have so many races!

The society we live in has too many of us that get carried away by mob psychology. We fall into the trap of negative peer pressure and stereotype labels. “Girls are not loyal”; “all men are players”; “there is no honest Kikuyu”; “Luos are lazy”; “Kambas are sly”; “Luhyas are gluttons” among many others. When we are captured in these innuendos we set ourselves into the respite and slavery of mediocrity. Unfortunately, we live up to these stereotypes with chagrin in our secret lives and when politicking. Father in heaven, save us from ourselves – we have sinned and we require mercy and grace more so in the renewal of our minds. We need the divine perspective of unity in purpose. To operate in interdependent harmony as designed by you and as witnessed in all nature. Do not tire on me my love – with you we can do all things and win many races in life. I am sorry for the slow start, mistakes and the losses in between. I love you!!

JKL Big Square Adlife v1.jpg

 

SUNSET RISING


Sunset Rising:
by Lunani Joseph
The sun is set to rise,
The moon waves good night,
The dark pursues the day,
The sunset is rising –
Cockerels crow as time is marked,
No minute counts as the last light,
Many scamper to finish duties,
The sunset is rising –
Evil parades it’s tools,
The devil scouts for sport,
Who is safe than sorry?
The sunset is rising –
Ambush is planned,
Traps set for the naive,
The ground shakes from sabotage,
The sunset is rising –
No guarantee on security,
Safety is a treacherous walk,
Insanity dwarfs reason,
The sunset is rising –
The strong breeze time away,
The clever sharpen their advantage,
Assuming nothing even the assured,
The sunset is rising –
Wits are outsmarted,
Guts then become a weapon,
No weak heart in a fist fight,
The sunset is rising –
Nothing in the dark remains hidden,
Truth illuminates the facts,
However slow justice stocks up,
Then light springs unto the dark,
No sunset is final,
We rise in faith.

7 Ways to Make Out of a Rut Stretch


Driving in unmarked roads will sure get you stuck between paths and by-ways. The terrain is normally uneven and springs surprises unto even the most discerning driver. There will be twigs to contend with, there will be sand pits that feign stability but give way too easily, there will be a bump that will require wedges to maneuver and a winch if not the tug of strong five or more men.

muddy ruts

Growing up in the village we witnessed many a vehicle get stuck especially during rainy seasons on our murram roads. It never made sense when they called them “all weather roads” – but then again it has a twisted meaning. That they will weather you out in all seasons. During the rains they would be muddy and a sore to motorists and pedestrians. While during the sunny season the vehicles would leave behind a train of smoky wafts of dust and grit to the pedestrians.

It is in the observations of seasoned drivers that I horned skills of getting out of ruts and continue to apply this as my journeys take me through scary ruts in the expanse of this country and beyond. Here are seven pointers to help you get out of ruts:

  1. Get out and scout the ruts

If by chance you never saw the ruts and got in abruptly then you have to stop and take stock. Do not under estimate a rut – small ruts can suck all your energy and still be stuck for hours if not days. Get out scout the area of the rut. Look for the smallest areas of advantage. It could be a strip of a stone or a hint of rock. That could be the much needed break to get you out of the ruts. Life has such and good breaks out of difficult times are often from unlikely sources. Look within and without for that advantage.

  1. Read signs, research routes and seasons

When you are forewarned you are forearmed. Knowing crucial information about a route or a venture from the onset is the best way to beat any eventualities. But then again if you find out that what you know is contrary to what you find on the ground then quickly un-learn, relearn and adapt. Flexibility is what makes the most of adventures and how charming are the stories to share from the experiences.

  1. Get tools and customize equipment or things

We have modern tools like a winch and the like then we have those that you build on site just to get out of ruts. We once got stuck in a small rut in the outskirts of Lugari forest with my wife and we built a raft like thing out of twigs and grass. And when we were almost out and noticed our raft like tool was short she threw in one of the car mats and guess what? We got out – though that action got her right in the pathway of mud as I stepped on the gas.

  1. Call in help early enough

Never assume a rut. Any problem that looks simple for you to solve might get you bogged down. This one time in the company of my wife, daughter and her nanny we set off in our Toyota Hilux double cabin pickup for our upcountry home. We arrived in the rain and the last stretch off the tarmac was muddy as usual. I have used this road for many years and never have I been stuck even in a two wheel drive vehicle. My assumption of driving a four wheel drive got us right in a deep rut. Another assumption of the rut got me revving up and before we knew it, an hour had passed. All this time I had ignored the free help that had availed itself as a small crowd had gathered around about the vehicle. Had I tapped into their help early enough then I would have been out in a jiffy. When I finally humbly asked them to help, those Luhya men about thirteen of them lifted the 4X4 from the rut in under 20minutes. Little did I know that a cane moving tractor had made the rut deeper and no matter how hard I stepped on the gas with the shaft firmly put in the rut I was not making progress but digging deeper. To date my wife remembers those men and how they loosely suggested and lifted the car out. “Si tupepeko hii kari tuitoeko kwa shimo mpaka pale” loosely translated as “Why don’t we lift this car from this rut to that place”. We laughed at their deep Luhya accent. And gasped as well at their demonstration of will and strength.

  1. Innovate and improvise quickly to start making progress however little

Ruts are always treacherous. They feign their looks and can deceive many. In business there are many problems that can rock the firm especially cashflow. When clients show difficulty in paying up; quickly discuss a payment plan with them DO NOT WAIT. However little the progress made reflects on the full amount – take it and review regularly. This also goes for supplier payments. When projected income is not netted as envisaged, go ahead and start a drawdown on the amount you owe them. A rut stretch however treacherous can be conquered in time as you make small movements. Always aim for the next jolt and step forward.

  1. Build up your guts and faith as the help feeds on it

Just like a fire needs kindling so does the help in moving out of a rut stretch. Remember to help them see the outcome you want. Then aim for small forward steps. Applaud them, get to know them in between breaths and call out to them respectfully. Show them how to handle your vehicle if you are particular about marks and dents. Cheer them up and offer your friendship as you never know when again you will meet. I have made good friends around the country from such situations and some have turned out to be very solid bankable relations.

  1. Learn: Listen, Look-up, Link up and move out

Being stuck in the rut slows you down. You can choose to whine on the time lost, dents caused and any other bad thing or create a knowledge base out of it. God has a funny sense of humour and he will use a rut stretch to get your attention. Learn the area of the rut, the people culture, take in the scenery, make friends and most importantly take lessons from the “being stuck” position. When you can draw “the what not to do”, “how to” and “why you do” then you have grown from the stuck position and may never get stuck in similar situations again. Many guys you have been stuck before in ruts – go back and kit their vehicles from the knowledge they gather in different terrains. Such that they are always better prepared when they encounter ruts again.

As we pursue our resolutions this year I pray we will all get out of the rut stretch; in relationships, business even spiritual matters and be well into growing for the better.

IS SEX A MEASURE OF LOVE??


In my childhood days, the subject “sex” was considered offensive. So it was never discussed and just the mention of the noun would give you stern looks, disapproving gazes and some bashing afterwards. During my adolescent years, the topic brought our class to giggles during home science lessons. This embarrassed the lady teacher. Many times in embarrassment never mentioned it or referred to the subject in quick passing and changed the topic too quickly.

As a Christian teenager, the literature and theology material provided to us in church was very categorical. Keep sex for marriage period. Whereas the sex literature available (unsolicited through friends-hidden in places we stumbled on) gave us a glimpse of illicit descriptive affairs that just blew our minds off. This created a nag in our manhood that like a dagger against our chest caused us to succumb in many ways than one.

The hunger for more illicit sex “reads” grew. The imagination of recreating the stories we read or pictures we saw kept our eyes evil with desire. The rogue of us went further to solicit for sex, cajole girlfriends or plainly deceive girls of a non-existent love expecting sex in-return. Were we prepared? Did we know how to start? What rules did we lay to protect ourselves? On what doctrine or principle did we engage? We were oblivious to all these facts. The lurking lust could not be vanquished in thought and so we indulged. Many came back with stories of greatness, new conquers laced in exaggerated symbolism.

Many caught up in the lies about sex are still drowning in the illegitimate expression of it. Others who covered their stories “in veiled” pretence still struggle to check the allure of the “lurking lust”. Few confessed, repented and welcomed the Holy Spirit to help weed out the sinful desires.  As my bestman Reuben Odanga well puts it “Your spirit will accept salvation but remember the flesh is still physical & so when  in temptation FLEE!!”. And testament to his admonition-our flesh plays games to our mind and the nagging sinful feeling is always at bay. Many times I flee but the “lurking lust” is always in pursuit. This made be re-evaluate and re-strategise my approach towards sex.

It is a creation of God. Who intends it for noble, meaningful and satisfactory engagement of married couples. For the discerning believer, all it takes is to retrace our faith in Jesus Christ. There is no one who is pure. But you can start by confessing, repenting and change your discourse unto Christ. Once there, then map out sex not as a stumbling block but as God’s gift. Whose use in the context of marriage is not only a blessing but a powerful tool for God’s Glory.

Here is what I have learnt in my pre-marital class and going four years in marriage:

1. Prepare for Sex: Like any great venture, more knowledge than little is good insight to any unfamiliar territory. Set the mood. Check the room, check your breath, body odour or cologne, check the ambiance(music, lighting,smells..) and accessories (lubricants, towels, snacks, drinks…)

2. Pray for a good sex life: There things to bind and loose others for a fulfilling sex life in marriage. Bind the past (evil or not) Loose any heart or physical binds of former days. Pray for that which you desire-the quality, quantity and else. Get to the details that disturb, confuse or arouse you. Pray before the wedding, after and all days for the sanctity of your marriage.

3. Un-learn, Learn & re-learn: Forget ye the former ways & assumptions. Remember this is your wife. Honour her by unlearning what you think you already know. Learn her preferences and keep in mind as much as you want to be pleased as you engage in sex-she needs to be pleased and satisfied. Research about sex in marriage. There are many useful on-line resources and books e.g His Needs, Her Needs; http://site.themarriagebed.com/ ,  http://www.the-generous-husband.comhttp://www.the-generous-wife.com/http://www.fascinatingrelationship.com and many more. If you look keen enough you will find many other useful resources. Remember to discard those that amplify sex as a pleasure gratification object for consenting adults. IT IS ONLY MEANT FOR THE MARITAL BED.

4. Submit you are human: Temptations will come as to that you can handle thus promises the Lord. Learn Satan’s allures – the light touch, flirting, mischievous texts, the lingering hugs, winks, pokes, the pretentious help calls etc And flee them. Never give them room as they will sneak in and destroy your blessings path.  In unbecoming circumstances retrace your steps to God.

5. Walk with thy Kingdom: When in doubt of the invitation ask your wife to accompany you. Men are physical and the emotive intelligence of your wife can be very useful in steering you away from trouble. When invited for weddings, parties or other social events-ask her in advance to dress the part and accompany you. For business meetings out of town that allow for couples and might take longer than a week-check if it is worth it-if you can afford it and if her coming will not inconvenience her schedule. She can plan activities for the day-research in the town etc then join you in the evening.

6. Adore thy Queen: Where your treasure is so is your heart. Live this principle. Invest in her pleasure. Give her time she needs and some more. Buy her expensive presents that you are too broke to be philanthropic with any other. Plan for the exotic escapades. When out of town put her first by mopping out any extra time that the devil might use-schedule your day so tight by training in the gym,read the bible and other meaningful publications, shop for her(one time I shopped three suitcases and only three items in the total luggage were mine-she had to send me money for excess baggage and God was she glad when she opened them), call her often, long and deliberate. prepare a story of the trip-take photos, write notes and any other interesting things about the place that will make good conversation & knowledge. Help her with her dreams- help her study; Help her with house work, be her confidant, bodyguard, chauffeur, trainer and massage therapist ( you can learn). This vulnerable things make many women adore other men. Do not wait to be replaced-mark the territory! Treat her with royalty and man will you remain King (all will notice)

7. Review, Reflect & Recharge: Do not get into routine. Style up; write poetry, make cards(even with external help), Print t-shirts, email, text, call, drop flowers and others. Just when she thinks she knows how you love her- surprise her again and again; and she will fall for you over and over!

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